Sta.sh
I am a great actress.
I have been hiding my pain
for years now.
Spiritual warfare isn't something
every teen girl goes through
but
God knows.
He knows how much I've cried
behind my bathroom door,
mentally sore,
can't take much more -
only to come out as if
nothing could ever damage me...
I listened to the enemy.
"Unworthy, unloved, unwanted."
"Put that blade to your body."
And I did.
I told myself I never would,
told myself I never could.
That's something that should
never even cross my mind.
But it did.
A girl as young as me
shouldn't be battling death,
but I have since third grade.
Jesus was my aid.
Nights he would serenade
me to sleep,
reassuring I am His to keep.
Morning came and He would shout,
"Child! Do not doubt.
There is so much to live for -
this is not what I have in store
for you."
But it wasn't easy.
Sometimes I couldn't hear
and out of anger and fear
I screamed at the Lord
doubting He'd appear.
But He always did.
And He will continue
to surprise me -
that's just who He is.
He is a God who created us
in His image.
We are nothing but beautiful,
we are nothing but His.
We are nothing without Him
and everything with Him.
I've had my fair share of
battles and trials and tribulations
and the one thing I learned is that
Jesus never fails.
And His love for us is absolutely indescribable.
Do me a favor and tell me what water
tastes like.
Multiply that by ten and your product is Jesus.
God sent His son to die!
This is probably the millionth time
you've heard some crazy Christian declare it,
but trust me -
you'll see it.
Because once you've been pulled
out of hell
you won't be able to tell,
until your eyes look up
and realize
He has never left your side.
In Him, we abide.
And when the tides are high
and the thunder roars,
He takes my hands -
with Him I soar.
My soul is at rest,
for I am beside the best.
And all I can utter is;
"Thank You, Jesus.
For forgiving me.
For helping me.
For promising me eternity.
-
Jesus, I love You.
But thank You for
loving me first."
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I'm so glad that you realized that it's not about who's right who's wrong - with God in general there is love, life and peace. I'm also happy you would love to hear it spoken. After all, it's a spoken word poem. I'm glad I can connect with an audience through a website, or a piece of paper instead of at a microphone which is where I should be with this piece. It shows I'm at least doing something right - even though with spoken word you can't go wrong.
Someone once told me to tell the truth in my poetry because that's when your poetry starts. And that's what I did. It's the truth - I was depressed. And sometimes I still battle. It's a never ending struggle. But I tell the truth that Jesus certainly WAS my aid.
I pray that you don't shy away from spirituality. 'Religion' is a man-made thing. You don't HAVE to go to church, or be a certain age to take communion, or be against 'gay people' (I put that in quotes because they aren't gay. They are human. I for one, am a Christian who accepts homosexuality.)... It's about what He has done, and how He has helped you. For that, we should honor Him, well, just for being Him.
Thank you, friend. It's much appreciated that you would take the time to read this. God bless!